Geek girls are fakes

3 August, 2010

While perusing the internet for ideas to help me meet the nice nerd girl of my dreams, I’ve encountered the ugly truth about the recent geek girl fetish fad. It’s a hoax. Go on – Google “geek girl” with the filters off and see what happens. Even with filters on, all you’ll find are generic Barbie doll models who are designated geeks by the simple method of putting glasses on them. And in forum discussions about geek girls, you’ll find a rather odd definition of attractive that excludes most of the genuine females nerds I’ve met, as these “superior” fellows are buying into the Barbie-doll-with-glasses image without hesitation.

Even if someone attempts to show real geek girls on the internet, what you end up with is a bunch of spokesmodels (corporate shills and “technology reporters”), actors making money from the geek market, and professional pinups. No authenticly nerdy girl is going to let someone take professional “cheesecake” pictures of her and use them to sell tech-related peripherals. Bikini shot = sellout. Fetish pose = blatant fake. And experience has shown it’s possible to know C++ and still be a stupid slut. Such females should not be dignified with the words geek or nerd. “Idiot with a degree” will suffice.

What exactly do our terms mean? Before it was turned into a category of erotica, “geek” was understood to mean a nerd with special skills, basically; e.g. electronics, physics, even “soft” areas like history and music. The requirement was for a combination of expertise and intelligence, but also, not clearly realised at the time, was the need for nerd-dom. Just as a tasty steak is not a meal unless you have some vegies with it, so a geek without nerd qualities is really nothing more than a “suit”, even in civvies.

It’s time for real nerds to put the matter straight. Whenever the drones start posting pictures of “hawt geek girls”, point out that they’re just a bunch of conformists ogling Barbie-dolls-with-glasses. If they disagree, point out that the defining characteristics of real geek girls are (random list):

1. They try to avoid wearing makeup.
2. They rarely tan.
3. Many don’t actually wear glasses.
4. They’re not fashion plates, and don’t own a lot of clothes.
5. They don’t have a practiced “look” for the cameras.
6. They prefer paperbacks to hardcovers (more space efficient and flexible).
7. They don’t have more than one swimsuit (that’s wearable).
8. They are not going to “put out”.
9. They only wear fitted clothes if their job demands it.
10. They hate “lingerie”.
11. They are not what Americans call “popular” (because what’s the point?).
12. They are rarely “toned”, unless they do a lot of hiking or skateboarding (I mean real skateboarding, not showbiz “I’m a bad girl” skateboarding).
13. Fiction set in the “real” world generally bores them silly.

Feel free to add your own suggestions to the list. I know it’s very incomplete.


I happen to know all this because I’ve always liked real nerd girls. Girls who are indoors a lot and thus have soft pale skin; who don’t want to look like a freaking Barbie doll; who read a lot of paperback fiction or thick non-fiction books (for pleasure) and have a real affection for their bookshelves; who like music that some would call a bit strange (and prefer it if the singer isn’t “hot”); who scour the TV guide for all the science fiction shows; who are creative (music, writing, drawing, whatever); who are introverted but quietly passionate, and who hate six-packs and he-men (no danger of that with me, I must confess).
I haven’t met the right one yet; please wish me luck. 🙂

(Oh, just to clarify, a “dork” is a geek or nerd with a completely uninteresting personality.)