Why clowns are evil

Edit: With belated apologies to Moo.

Here are results of some Googling I did today.

“i hate clowns” 52,700
“clowns are evil” 14,200
“i don’t like clowns” 4,930
“people who like clowns” 776
“i really hate clowns” 264
“who likes clowns” 254
“i really don’t like clowns” 157
“who the hell likes clowns” 134
“people who like clowns are” 4
“why do people like clowns” 1

“i like clowns” 7,580
“i love clowns” 6,530
“i like clowns” -padilla 5,700
“why do people hate clowns” 433
“why do you hate clowns” 219

As you can see by this rough study, clown haters by far outnumber clown lovers.

I think it’s perfectly normal to hate and fear clowns. How can you like or trust someone who wears a mask, who pretends to be exaggeratedly happy, who demands that you smile at him? By this argument, people who like clowns are “tone deaf” in their understanding of human relations – they think a “smile” must mean a smile, and they can understand no deeper than that.

I think clowns may have their roots in shamanic practices, in which the shaman would wear a mask to represent a spirit. These old spirits were not figures of unalloyed joy, of course, but they were powers with whom we would prefer friendly relations. As Christianity became dominant, pagan practice lost its power to impress as a spiritual exercise, and became instead a charming folk ritual. From the charming folk ritual, it is only one easy step to make it an entertainment for children. So the spirit of fertility becomes an animated child’s toy. But the smart kids know not to trust this deception.

Warn your children! “Stay away from that clown – he’s dangerous!”

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